Thursday, December 12, 2013

Domestic Blunders

Our homes are sanctuaries that protect us from the harsh realities of life, but running a household is a complex undertaking. I'm proof that a supposedly capable person can make domestic gaffs that make Mr. Bean look like a genius. Even the brilliant Albert Einstein could be forgetful around the house, so what hope is there for the rest of us?

The "take home" lesson? Don't expend all your brain power at work - you need some for household duties too.

  1. Tried to cook pancakes on a George Foreman Grill. You know - the one with the sloped surface.

  2. Used regular liquid soap in an automatic dish washer. Try it if you want to see wet soap suds bubbling out of the dish washer all over your kitchen floor.

  3. Activated the home security system for motion detection prior to a walk, but forgot about the house cat. Came back home to blaring alarms and a terribly traumatized tabby.

  4. Locked myself out of the house on numerous occasions while tending to the yard. Good opportunity to learn meditation skills.

  5. Forgot about a lit candle that was in a flammable, plastic holder (or was this my wife?). The candle holder caught on fire, but fortunately we were able to extinguish it right away.

  6. A ladder slipped out from under me while I was trying to put Christmas lights on the eavestrough (This is a classic). Luckily, I was able to grab a part of the ladder while hanging onto the trough thus averting disaster. This is similar to a ladder scene involving Chevy Chase in the movie Christmas Vacation.

  7. Forgot about some pita bread I was grilling in the oven - yes it caught on fire. The fire remained confined to the oven, but the oven door was permanently charred and discolored. Try explaining that one to the wife.

  8. Tried to get rid of bags of dated pasta by throwing them in the garburator. This created a kind of starch super glue that completely clogged the garburator throughout every orifice (actually my wife did this).

  9. Left a closed spray nozzle attached to a garden hose on in the spring. It burst after a few freeze/thaw cycles dumping thousand of gallons of water into the yard. Coincidentally our sump pump gave out and the basement flooded. Realized the outdoor faucet was still on days and dollars later.

  10. I could describe various scientific theories about human error and why it occurs in different situations, but that isn't the point. All of us can be Dumb, Dumber, or Dumberer at times. I'm sure many readers can relate to their own silly gaffs at home. If you would like to come clean about any of your domestic blunders, then please tell us your story by leaving a comment below.