Monday, December 24, 2012

Santa Makeover

The present version of Santa hasn't been around all that long now, and he's really more of a commercial department store invention than a true icon. Santa seems to be less popular now than in years gone by - appearing in fewer commercials and TV shows etc. Let's face it he's becoming a dud, and is in sore need of a makeover!

First off, a new opening line would be in order since "HO HO HO" might be taken the wrong way in some circles. In these days of health awareness the extra weight should go - no more cookies and milk after a chimney run, and he needs a good exercise program. Perhaps he should start with a spa package in Alaska, then get the elves to build an exercise room next to the Reindeer stables? A spa visit that includes a beard trim, pedicure, manicure and hair coloring would be in order for a younger, more hip look. His suit is looking pretty gaudy too, and there are some eager and ready New York fashion designers hoping to craft Santa a new, updated costume. Heck, they could even add an invisibility cloak, so awakened little tots don't spot him in the house. Throw in a new hat, belt, and boots, and he'll be ready to fly. After the makeover, there'd be new corporate sponsorships on the horizon. If so, he'd need to get hooked up with a new P.R. firm, and be prepared to put a few logos on the new suit.

After all of this, he'll look pretty snazzy when he drops that lump of coal into Donald Trump's stocking.

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